Real Holiness: Staying Close to God, Not Pleasing Religious Culture
“For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is proved right by her deeds.”
— Matthew 11:18–19 (NIV)
Introduction:
Holiness is a loaded word. For some, it brings memories of joy, purity, and closeness with God. For others, it brings guilt, judgment, and a long list of “do-not’s.” It has led to many to start a ‘deconstruction’ process and make the church seem out of touch with reality. Moreover, it makes the church appear, and rightfully so, as a place of hate, judgement, and arrogance. But when Jesus spoke in Matthew 11:18, He exposed something deep: Religious people often miss the heart of holiness because they confuse culture with character and real connection with the Lord.
John fasted and was called possessed. Jesus feasted and was called sinful. Why? Because both walked closely with the Father, but not closely enough with tradition.
True holiness isn’t about external appearances—it’s about what separates us from God. It’s not about conforming to culture. It’s about aligning with the heart of our Creator.
Cultural Context: Why These Accusations Mattered
When Jesus was called a glutton and drunkard, it wasn’t just name-calling—it was an intentional effort to discredit His holiness and authority. In Jewish culture at the time, excessive eating and drinking were associated with moral failure, spiritual compromise, and a lack of discipline. These accusations painted Jesus as someone who had no reverence for the law of Moses, a direct challenge to His credibility as a teacher or prophet.
Calling Him a “friend of tax collectors and sinners” was equally scandalous. Tax collectors were seen as traitors—Jews working for the oppressive Roman Empire—and often extorted their own people. “Sinners” didn’t just mean people who messed up; it referred to those viewed as ritually unclean or beyond redemption, including prostitutes, the sick, Gentiles, and others excluded from temple life and therefore ANY salvation.
By associating with them, Jesus was crossing well defined lines that the religious elite had used to define who was holy and who was not. To them, holiness meant separation from impurity. But to Jesus, holiness meant restoration of the broken. His willingness to sit, eat, and love these people wasn’t a betrayal of God—it was the fullest expression of His mission.
These accusations reveal that religious culture had drifted so far from the heart of God that it couldn’t recognize holiness unless it looked judgmental, exclusive, and harsh.
Jesus’ actions weren’t just radical—they were a direct rebuke of the system that confused distance from sinners with closeness to God.
Holiness Is About Connection, Not Performance
At its core, holiness means being set apart—not from people, not from places—but from sin. Anything that breaks our intimacy with God, clouds our discernment, or hardens our hearts must go. And anything that draws us nearer, aligns us with His Spirit, and reflects His love—that is holy.
Holiness isn’t:
- Wearing the “right” clothes.
- Abstaining from things others don’t like.
- Checking off religious boxes.
Holiness is:
- Walking in step with the Spirit.
- Living in truth and love.
- Staying close to the Father’s heart.
The Culture Trap: When Holiness Becomes a Moving Target
Let’s be honest: a lot of what we’ve been told is “holiness” was just culture—rules that made sense at one point in time, in one place, but were never rooted in the eternal nature of God.
Examples of cultural “holiness” that change:
- Not wearing pants if you’re a woman. In biblical times, no one wore pants
- Never stepping foot in a movie theater
- Avoiding certain types of music or instruments
- Not having tattoos, piercings, or colored hair
These rules were often created in reaction to what seemed worldly in a particular time—but not because they were biblically sinful.
God never changes. His nature is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). But culture changes constantly. So, if your definition of holiness is based on culture, you’ll always be chasing a moving target that will inherently seem ridiculous to future generations.
Jesus and John Were Both Holy—And Both Rejected
Matthew 11:18 makes something painfully clear: You can be holy and will assuredly still be hated. John separated himself from society, and they called him demon possessed. Jesus embraced community and joy, the common person and they called Him a drunkard.
This tells us something important: It’s not about what you do—it’s about your connection to God.
The ones who rejected John and Jesus were not discerning the Spirit—they were clinging to control. They judged holiness by tradition and cultural norms at the time, not by fruit. But Jesus tells us, “Wisdom is proved right by her deeds.” (v.19) Holiness is proven by fruit, not by rules.
What Separates You From God? That’s Where Holiness Begins.
Instead of asking, “Is this allowed?” or “Is this holy?” ask:
- Does this draw me closer to God or distract me from Him?
- Does this reflect His love and truth?
- Does this make me more like Christ or more like the world’s system of pride, fear, and self-idolatry?
Holiness isn’t about isolation—it’s about intimacy. It’s not fear-based—it’s fruit-based. It’s not external—it starts in the heart and overflows into your life.
A New Holiness Movement
It’s far past the time to reclaim holiness—not as something that makes us look better than others, but something that keeps us close to the Father.
Authentic holiness will:
- Keep you from bitterness.
- Lead you to forgive.
- Change how you treat the poor.
- Guide your speech, your choices, and your relationships.
- Keep you sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s conviction—not religious guilt.
“But wisdom is proved right by her deeds.” — Matthew 11:19 (NIV)
If your holiness is based on human rules, it will eventually wear you out—or puff you up. This has been well exhibited in churches these days, and I will argue has led to a disconnection from the Holy Spirit and makes the church less important and desirable to those who are less tolerant of such behavior.
But if your holiness is based on love, humility, and staying near to God, it will give life—to you and everyone around you.
You don’t need to live up to the ever-shifting opinions of people. Stay close to Jesus. Let your life bear the kind of fruit that proves what’s real.
